Crushes, Dreams, And Hopeless Fantasies

Gosh, where do I even begin. Anywhere? The beginning? The end? The one part of my life where dreams were my world?

As most of my girlfriends know, I've never dated. Ever.

Never kissed or Frenched.
Never hugged by a boy I liked.
Never even been to first base.

When I put it that way, WOW, I sound totally pathetic.

But guess where all that... ahem, "energy" went to?

A cookie if you guessed "Fangirling!".

And yes, that's why for a major part of my high school life I was obsessed with bands. McFly, Tokio Hotel, DBSK, Super Junior, 2PM, you name it.

Spazzing over them made me feel like I don't need a boyfriend. Why waste time and money when the Internet's right in front of you? The fanfictions, the (obviously fake) ghei rumuors, that was all an excitement, a cheap thrill for me, if you will. The fantasies of what you'd do with them if you finally meet them. (Hehehe, try guessing what. XD)

But it was fun while it lasted.

Yes, if you see me now, it seems like I'm still a fangirl. Going on allkpop for news, STILL reading fanfictions, buying albums, splurging on concert tickets. (SUJU CONCERT YAY :D)

But now, it's merely a hobby. Not an obsession.

I have to admit I do have a weird fascination for Korean culture and its people. But that doesn't mean I immediately fall in love with every Korean boy I see.

(Wth people, I'm not that shallow, ok?!)

I haven't openly admitted this. I may have substituted the word for, I don't know, "dates", "to be kissed", "to get third-base laid".

Point is, I'm saying it out now.

I want a boyfriend. Not need (that's called being despo), but want.

OK, so I sound pretty shallow about now.

"Yerr, where got girl so open say one boyfriend one? Must be a lola* wan, that's why don't have before lah."

(*LOLA = Lack Of Love and Attention)

But think of it this way. I've never had the experience of a first love before.

Never experienced a hug from someone, his heat, his warmth, seemingly warming you up to the core as well, making you feel safe, safer than anywhere else in the world.

Never experienced holding hands, the shy touch of hands... before slipping into the crooks between your fingers, the grasp firm, not wanting to let you go.

Never experienced the sheer joy when the first thing you wake up to in the morning is a message from him.

Never been kissed, never been so taken aback as his lips touch yours slowly, hesitantly, then pressing harder and you feel like everything in this world is just right.

Never experienced hearing his voice from behind and just as you turn, all you can see is him and suddenly, your bad day doesn't seem so bad after all. In fact, it's perfect.

Read through this post again. And again. Do you know what I'm talking about?

(Oh, and it applies to boys as well. Just replace the 'he' with a 'she'.)

One day, hopefully sooner than later. I'd like to experience all that.

PS. If you're wondering where I get my... physical (and romantic) advice from, try reading fanfictions. Muahaha.
PPS. Nah, Sab, I finally wrote a "personal" post, lemme know what you think.
PPPS. Unless you're a girl (or Kenn, he has special privileges), do NOT mention this blog post to my face. Kthxbai.
PPPPS. And as if you couldn't tell by my writing, yes, I am a romantic at heart. ;)

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Misleading Picture? Why Thank You :D

(This is probably the only prom photo I'll ever upload on my blog. So sue me.)

That's Ironman (aka Steven Tey Teng Shuih) btw.

Anyways.

According to my cousin from JB:

*while flipping through all my prom photos for my cousins to see*
"Wah, look like Korean leh!"

Why thank you. :D

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Why Oh Why Must Homework Exist?

And this is what my room looks like when I have 5 more out of 7 poem analyses left to do. Which are due tomorrow. And lets not forget the Math homework.

HALPZ. DDDDDDDDDDD8

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Second Week Of College

So, another week of college has gone and passed. Eventful? Uneventful? I'm not quite sure myself.

Nothing much has changed, except that the classes I'm in are starting to get closer in terms of friendship. Which explains the sudden 'College List' I have up on FB and the mass adding of friends. :D

Classes are starting to have crazy workloads. @.@

Especially Maths. OMG MATHS =Bane of my existence.

BUT.

I refuse to drop the darned subject. NYAH. >:D

The amount of homework piles up EVERY DAY, but hey, if I can get through SPM, the second hardest high school examination in the WORLD, pssh, A-Levels are peanuts.

(Someone please remind me of this post when I start whining about how hard my life is later on, kthxbai.)

Unlike Sabrina, I don't take pics in school, because.... there's basically no time at all! It's wait outside of class (cos the class is freezing, as always), get into class, lessons, lunch, and lessons again. And repeat for the next day and the next day and the next.

But Friday's my classes' half-day, so we have the opportunity to go out and have a looooong lunch. We're even thinking of driving out to Desa Sri Hartamas for Korean food next week! :DDD

HOWEVER. (From here on in it's going to be the what-happened-today post, fyi.)

We had some teamwork building workshop for our Lit. in English class, AND we had to finish Mr. Gan's homework, so that meant doing econs and eating lunch at the same time. =.=''

The workshop was LMFAO funny. One part of the workshop was charades, and this is one of the snippets of it:

"Why you join the Lit class?"
"... 'Cause Ms. Anne is hot!"
*Cue racuos laughter*
"But you not lesbian right? That's why you go Psychology class got Mr. Kumar mah!"

XDDD

OH. OH. OH. AND. :D

I've mentioned this on FB, but there has been a guy (and some others as well) that have been catching my eye, if you get what I mean. ;D But how to introduce if he's a senior? D:

Ahem. Moving on.

Today's ECA Drive thing was AWESOME, btw. As the workshop thingy only finished at 3.30pm, the lot of us went down late.

AND WITNESSED A REAL FLASH MOB. O.O

Actually it's a dance flash mob prepared by the Dance club members, but they were AWESOME. And yes, it is as in possum. :)

At the end of the day, I signed up for 4 clubs, which are Dance, Music, Psychology, and...

Wait for it...

...

...

...

KOREAN! :DDDDD

Hahaha, bet you coulda seen that coming from afar. XDDD

All in all, I've met alot of new friends, and hope to get to know them better. :)

In fact, I'm kinda sad that college's only 5 days a week.

TT_TT

But then I remember the workload we have and...

Yeah I like my weekends better. XD

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Procrastinator, I Am.

Another blog post due to the pestering of friends. XD

College is awesome. No, screw that, it's fantastic. I'm so NOT regretting going for the Jan intake.

Friendly classmates, great lecturers, and a whole lotta' good-lookin' people. I like. A lot.

PLUS. Loads of cute guys and eye-candy. And all above average. XD

BUT.

It's so cold, we freeze our asses off EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN' DAY.

Someone PLEASE tell the administration to turn down the AC, especially in my class. D:

So far the week's been nothing but funfunfun. :D

Orientation was a blast, the ice-breaking thing was a great... well, ice breaker. (Pardon the pun.)

My classmates... well technically there's only 13 of us, but since the Humanities classes are so small, alot of other class people come to our class for their subjects. Combined classes lah. It's just that my class is the permanent one. =.=

The facilities are very canggih as well. The library may be small, but it's cozy. And we has alphabet chairs and beanbags, so there. XP

My lecturers are the total opposite of secondary school teachers. I LIKE. 8D

Mr K, the psych teacher, is GREAT. His lectures are fun and to the point.

Ms Anne is a tad strict, but if you don't cross the line, she'll be ok to work with in class.

Ms. Yogi is my super hyper Math teacher, she's even better at teaching Math compared to my Add Math teachers (Not that they weren't good...)

But the only gripes I have with the campus, besides the cold, is the time alloted for our lunch breaks.

One hour is SO not enough for lunch, especially when the restaurant's late with your order. Rushing back to class does not help in the digestion fo food, ya know.

I'll maybe continue the 'college life' posts later on, but for now, I'm hungry, and shall go scavenge for food. :D

PS. NAH UPDATED LIAO. XP

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So Apparently I Should...

It's freaking 2.15am now. And I'm still up. Darn biological clock, you're not supposed to follow the "stay up til 6am new years eve" plan!

Anywho.

A friend prompted me to update this dying, barely alive blog. ("Why all the posts the same wan?")

Hey, at least I still feed it (not very often occuring) news.

So. Typing away now.

...

Uh, nothing to type about.

Well, I could start to describe in detail how my plan to enjoy life on its own was crashed and burned when my dad decided to persuade me to join the Jan intake of A-Levels.

I could be all mad, sad, angsty and whatnot. But I'm not, so... MEH.

Nothing to update lorh. People around me know that my life very the boring one what.

Hang on, I take that back. I actually do plan to go KL with Kelly this Sunday, and with Sab the next. Mum's taking me to Kino as well this Sunday, along with Dad taking me to The Star Education Fair on Saturday. Oh, and I'm taking my undang test (like, FINALLY after bajillions of eons) on Monday. And let's not forget about the first day of school at Taylors' Sri Hartamas the day after.

But you probably didn't want to know about that anyways. ;D

Besides, it's not that I don't want to blog, it's just that... no one appreciates me blogging.

*sniffs and wipes away tear*

I mean, I would do alot better if maybe some people gave comments and-

Ah, screw it. I hate grovelling.

Leave me loads of comments and I will update. I happy, you happy. Sama-sama.

We cool we cool?

(Thank Haziq for that last line. XD)

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Pre-U And Uni Woes, Oh My.

Just a quick post before dinner. Just spent the past 3 hours researching what top-tier unis from the US want when I apply to be admitted.

Dear Lord, how will I ever get in?!?! DDDD:

They consider your high school results. M y results are average, if not below that standard. But according to Deb, they place more emphasis on your SATs, so that's abit of hope for me.

And not to mention I need to complete a Pre-U course first. Of course the generic plan was to do A-Levels, but that would so wrong for me on so many levels:

It's totally exam based. I can't stick exams. Have you seen how badly I did in school?
I'll waste another year of my life, because I'll be taking the July intake, and therefore have to wait six months to aply for uni.
Sure I could go for the January intake, but hello? No freedom at all! I'll do even worse, kthx.
A-levels are the hardest Pre-U course in the world. It'll be SPM all over again. No, thank you.
More memorising. More studying. More pressure and stress.

I'm considering the Candian Pre-U, but is it even accepted worldwide? I mean, yeah, it says so, but one can't be too sure about this. But I really like the way they teach. I mean, 70% coursework, and only 30% exams. I'm confident that I'll do better in this lorh. Not to mention, the dude from the CPU program at Taylor's was extremely convincing.

SO HOW?!

My whole future is at stake. Save me. D:

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Happy 2010!

Ah, it's a brand new year again. 2009 was awesome, granted, but I can't wait to kick-start off 2010 with a bang. :)

And so I spent New Year's Eve with Abby, Samantha and Yee Peng. Baked apple pie, swam by the pool, gazed at the moon, watched two movies, slept at 6am. Quite an uneventful New Years Eve, but I'm content. :D

Really sorry for the lack of updates, I just need to get sorted out. The past few weeks I've been busy going out, hanging out, moving stuff from my room (my room now has a fresh coat of paint, complete with a wall of colour), yada yada yada. In short, my current mind and body are tired like shit. X.X

No New Years resolutions, except:

Get a fitter, healthier body.
Earn extra pocket money by getting a part time job.
Study for the SATs. And maybe get a headstart on A-Levels as well.
Learn to DRIVE.
Learn at least two new languages.
Write more.
Continue my music studies.
Keep my room clean. (Ahaha, this'll be tough. XD)
Keep in touch with friends. And not just by Facebook.

I'm serious about the last one. So people, bombard me with your e-mails, handphone numbers and whatnot. I'm really going to make an effort with this, I've lost touch with so many people already.

Hey, if I can still chat with a friend who I've known since F3, and she's halfway across the world now, mind you, I'm sure that you, whoever you are, that's still in Malaysia, can spare some time to chat, no? :)

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